


Silent obedience

by PetitPentagram



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Angst, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Maryse Lightwood Being An Asshole, Not Happy, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22101802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetitPentagram/pseuds/PetitPentagram
Summary: Alec sagged in his chair after Maryse finally left. Even after years of hearing them, her words still hurt him every time she criticized him. It wasn’t that she was wrong necessarily, but she seemed to find the most passive aggressive way of formulating it.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	Silent obedience

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who needed to vent and decided that writing a fic was a good idea? Yup, me.  
> So, nothing fancy, and English is not my native language so there might be typos and stuff. Let me know if I forgot anything in the tag.

Alec sagged in his chair after Maryse finally left. Even after years of hearing them, her words still hurt him every time she criticized him. It wasn’t that she was wrong necessarily, but she seemed to find the most passive aggressive way of formulating it. 

_ “Guess I can’t expect the minimum from you when you’re busy with a Downworlder.” _

Alec had simply been talking to Magnus about the issue at hand – a dispute between vampires and werewolf where Magnus was willing to be mediator – to avoid a conflict and so the Shadowhunters could focus on killing demons. 

It seemed no matter how hard he tried; he was just never enough. Maryse had been in Idris for months, letting him run this institute – and he was successful, no one could deny it – and yet, as soon as she stepped back, he was expected to go back in her shadow. 

He wouldn’t mind either as long as at the end of the day, the job was well done. But Maryse was hell bent on negating everything he was trying to improve. 

_ “But what is there to improve? Things have always been run this way, and they were good. Don’t try and find something wrong just to feel better about yourself.” _

Alec was biting his tongue, aware that he couldn’t just go against Maryse like that. She was probably taking her anger out on him because someone in Idris had put her on probation anyway, so he had little choice but to act like the bigger man and take it to ease things. 

Didn’t mean that was fair, and Alec resented her more and more. His father at least had the decency to not talk to him anymore. Can’t expect him to approve of his life choice, but Alec knew very well he wouldn’t go out of his way to make his life harder when he was busy rebuilding a proper reputation back in Alicante. 

He sighed when someone knocked on his door. 

Life as head of the institute didn’t offer him much time to rest in-between nerve-wracking meetings. 

“A nest of demons appeared on our radar” announced Jace. “I’m in charge of the team to take care of it. Wanna come?” 

Alec thought about it, then remembered the dozen or so of reports waiting for his attention. 

“I can’t. Be careful and send someone my way when you come back for your preliminary report.”

With a thumbs up and an encouraging nod, Jace left. 

Back to work then. 

He sometimes regretted his position. Especially when he couldn’t back up Jace on the field. 

_ “Alec, are you even listening to me? What do I have to do to make you understand that you should do your job seriously?” _

Another day, another meeting, another remark from his dearest mother. Alec swore he would kick her out if that didn’t send a dangerous signal to the clave. But by the angel, he wanted her to shut up about what he should or shouldn’t do and how SHE would do things. 

What right did she have here? Just a representative to the clave, because she had to regain trust amongst officials, and they knew how desperate she was to re-establish their name. 

He waited until she ran out of breath and insults then decided to call it a day. He barely suppressed the urge to slam the door.

He hoped Magnus wouldn’t mind him invading, because there was no way he stayed in the Institute. 

“Darling, came here to brighten my day?” teased the warlock when he entered the loft. Alec couldn’t help but smile. If someone here was brightening someone else’s day, it would be Magnus. 

“You look exhausted, want a drink?” He barely waited for a nod before making two mojitos appear out of thin air, handing one to Alec. 

Sitting on the colourful couch, he closed his eyes while resting his head for a while against the cushions. He _was_ exhausted. Tired of fighting his mother at every turn, of having to ignore her. 

“She said she’d rather I had a fatal accident on patrol before this whole thing started” his voice broke down as the word left his mouth without his consent. “That I should just leave or let them strip me of my runes, accept the consequences of my actions”. 

No matter how much he knew her words were cruel and that considering his past _inclinations_ , they might one day be the one thing to push him over the edge, he couldn’t get them out of his head. But at the same time he didn’t want to talk about it.

Magnus sat down next to him, thankfully not saying anything. Alec had no desire to hear what he could think about it. He knew his mother was severely lacking in the interpersonal and emotional department, but she was still his mother. He wasn’t sure he could bear to hear anything derogatory from his boyfriend. 

But he wasn’t sure he could any more scathing comment from his mother. Izzy had warned him, saying she was trying to push his buttons so he would go back into the mould. But knowing what she was doing didn’t make it any better. 

Magnus put on a stupid telereality show, moving Alec so he could cuddle him and offer him some semblance of comfort. He was unfortunately aware there wasn’t much he could do. Didn’t mean he couldn’t take his mind off things for an evening. 

One day, Alec would have to choose between his love for his mother, and what he wanted to do with his life. Magnus had no doubt he would take the right decision, he just needed to be there for him until then.


End file.
